When I was just a boy...



 
I have always wondered about those folks that talk about when they first realized they were gay or bi or whatever. I have no memory of a time in my life when I did not find boys more attractive, physically, emotionally, sexually, whatever. It wasn't just a matter of being more comfortable with boys than with girls - I knew, even as a little boy, that I was attracted to boys and that certain boys were attracted to me. 

I still recall the first boy who kissed me with the intent of getting me excited. He groped my crotch and squeezed my butt while he probed my mouth with his tongue. He smelled of cinnamon and clove and his sweat was salty and sweet at the same time. 

Neither one of us was shy about taking our shirts off or about demonstrating our affection for each other and he loved giving me a hard on with the other boys watching as much as I enjoyed him giving me one. 

I can't even imagine my first kiss with a girl - there would always be a third party in every interaction I had with a girl - the voice in the back of my mind asking "...what the fuck?"   

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